I go to the Doctor's this week for a checkup after three weeks of being on the Antidepressant, and I know that I have improved.
I know I have, but not as much as I could have, and I know that. It's just been hard to get into a whole new routine.
Today especially was very new and very exciting/disorienting because change is a very shaky thing for me.
My day roughly went like this:
First I woke up at, of course, 1:00 in the afternoon or so. This is an improvement compared to how late I've been sleeping these last few weeks, trust me. I woke up many times in the night, but that's nothing new. I had no vivid dreams this time or any level of sleep walking/moving/talking.
I woke up all on my own though, and I was so hungry I had to drag myself out of bed immediately.
I'm always starving when I wake up, so it's routine for me to drink a glass of chocolate milk literally every single day. Literally. For years now it's been my thing.
But this morning (Or should I say, morning for ME), I did something different. CHANGE, right?
Last night we went to the store and bought me some quick foods to encourage me eating more, because my usual is to eat once a day, and obviously that's not a good thing.
So I made myself a bowl of Strawberry Yogurt with chopped up Strawberries and sprinkled some Granola. It was absolutely beautiful.
Then I took like an hour long shower, as usual, and had to ignore the urge to scrub the top edge of the glass for dust or organize the Lotions and Perfume by height and color. It was very hard.
I washed my face with this fancy stuff that makes me want to pet my skin all day, put on my robe, fixed my hair then got dressed.
Today my family was tidying up the Kitchen and such so I did the chores (Boring, I know), and then I snacked on some Yogurt covered Raisins and tried the Chocolate flavor of my health drink and pet my cat as an excuse not to finish cleaning.
I watched some Twilight Zone with dinner while it stormed outside, and started painting on one of my plain shirts and set it out to dry.
And now I am writing this, listening to music, eating chocolate covered Raisins and all that's left to me to do is take my medicine and vitamins and clean my face, brush my teeth, and head to bed!
This doesn't seem very exciting, I know. But it is.
My day was completely different than usual. It felt brighter, somehow, or perhaps that was just my vision.
I got to light candles and listen to the thunder and eat foods that made me feel fancy and pet my animals and listen to good music.
I have a white glow around this day, and though it is a little dim, it's still a glow anyway.
I don't know what tomorrow will be like, but it's up to me if it's good, of course, and I hope I'll be able to put in the effort I did today!
Thanks for reading!
