Hello Lovelies!
I've been having good days, ultimately.
I've made a lot of changes in my life over such a short time, and it's sort of blown me away. Part of me wants to stay the same, hold onto things that hurt me just because they're familiar, and continue to be a part of things I don't have a passion for just for the sake of it. Just to make others happy.
But that's no way to live.
I've chosen to live my life day by day--for me, for God.
I refuse to destroy myself. I refuse to make unimportant things priorities in my life when there is so much more that I am growing interested in. Things that will take me far in life. Things that I want to live with forever.
Safe to say--over the last few months, I've cut out many people that are poison to me, got rid of many things that are hurtful to me, and instead have found new friends, new things to call MINE. New things that are ME, not who I was.
I am not who I was a month ago. Not who I was even a week and a half ago.
I am new and I am better. I am someone I can be proud of. Not someone to be belittled or snuffed out.
I've written out my Kitten Calender, that I'd long since forgotten to keep up with, for this new month. I planned out my exercising and my Blog post days and I've been thinking about many NEW things.
Things that I would have never pursued, had it been before a few months ago. I would have been ashamed and embarrassed and would have thought I wasn't good enough or smart enough to manage it, but with my new found confidence, I couldn't care less if I'm simply doing it for ME.
Since when was doing something for yourself not a good enough reason, anyway?
I'm interested in new things--I listen to different music and wear different clothes and treat myself differently. I treat myself better. I've started finding new shows and trying new things.
I wish to do different things with my future, with my life.
I am, indeed, a different person, and that's okay.
That's great.
I was not me before. I am finally finding myself. Finally finding something REAL to grow on, to continue to make better.
I am focusing on me and how I can be absolutely the best I can be.
I'm trying--it's an effort, and it's scary sometimes, but it's all worth it.
I ache all over and I've been eating even when I don't feel like it. I fight away my thoughts constantly and it's a big struggle just being me, but I'll fight for it, because I'm worth the extra work.
Basically, I'm proud of myself. Sure, call me self-conceited, but it's actually self-confidence, and we could all use more of that.
Sharing your own opinion and sharing a picture of yourself and being your own person is considered obnoxious and annoying.
Why the heck?
Just because someone is feeling good about themselves that one day? Just because someone is feeling brave and confident that day?
Does it really hurt you? Really think about it. Does it effect you in ANY WAY if someone makes a statement about their day, posts a picture of themself?
If someone's confidence really does offend you, you might need to sort out your own life.
There's nothing wrong with it. It's harmless. Yet society will tell us that it's wrong. That it's useless and should be hidden away.
And is that not reason enough for depression to strive in this world?
Stop being hateful. Stop hating others. Stop discouraging or stuffing down or making fun.
There's nothing wrong with change and there's nothing wrong with confidence and passion. Embrace it. Love it. And ignore anyone else who would try to pull you back down to their level.
