Today has been pretty empty, meaning my mind has had a lot of time to wander freely and without stop. This isn't a bad thing. Well, at least today it isn't.
But it got me thinking:
There are, basically, two types of people in this world.
Both of these kinds are very troubled people.
Stay with me here:
Now, both of these people have suffered. They are both distraught, or have been, or are sometimes. Both of these people have had terrible and wonderful things happen to them.
What I'm trying to say is; everyone on Earth has gone through stuff. Everyone has lived a tragedy at one point or another. This might be abuse or bullying or trauma. You might have had to bury a parent or a pet or might have had a house fire or were made fun of in school.
Whatever the specific case is--the world is full of horror.
Allow me to explain: One of these types of people take these horrible things that have happened to them, and simply simmer in it. These are, generally, the people who cause more violence and hate in the world.
These are the people who use their past or present struggles as fuel and as an excuse to mistreat and belittle other people. These are the bullies in school. These are the people who love to make you feel worthless. These are life's conflicts, who feel strong by teasing and feel powerful by beating others down--mentally or emotionally or physically. These are not necessarily bad people, but good people that were infected by the world and drug down with it, who handle everything in all the wrong ways.
Think of a villain in a storybook, basically.
They have their own story, and their own problems, and their own heartbreak, yet they are the hero that simply fell apart and is eaten up with desperation and hopelessness, which often causes people to act out and be someone they aren't.
And, sure, it's easier to put up a front. To be uncaring, to be heartless, but this is all an act. It's hard to be vulnerable and open and honest, because when you let people know your heart then they know exactly how to attempt to crush it.
Then you have the other type of people--the people who have gone through horrors big and small, some even bigger than the other type of people have gone through.
But these are the greatest people in the world.
These are the brilliant lights that I talk about so often. The kind of people that have gone through Hell yet shine with the light of Heaven.
These are the people of strength--who may fall and break but stay standing through it all. This is that one person that happened to smile at you when you were having a bad day--when maybe even they were having a bad day, too, yet smiled anyway! The person who holds the door for you whenever they certainly didn't have to--when many others wouldn't.
The people who live their life through art or performing and love and freedom. The people who are tortured geniuses. Beautiful scars walking the earth overcoming fear one day to the next, but that refuse to give up. Refuse to give in.
This is who I am--who I constantly strive to be.
I will never be mean. I will never purposefully insult someone or hurt someone. I will never be the kind of person to suffer and think that because I've had a hard time, it's my job to make sure everyone else does, too.
I know a ton of BOTH of these people. The one's who would love to make fun of me, try and tear me down. Sure, maybe they've succeeded at one point or another, but I'm done with that. I refuse to budge anymore and lower myself to their standards of pathetic thoughts and brainless acts that society tells us is the right thing. The thing to make you last in this world.
Well, I'll tell you, I've never seen a jerk happy in their life. They may get awards, get money, get popularity, but are these really things that we should care about? No.
I don't care about how many friends you have. I don't care about how much fun you have. I feel sorry for you, and nothing you say will make me feel any other way.
I also know people who are like me. People who can, no, not point to a crowd of people and say, "These are my friends!", while they don't even know half of them. I mean people who can hold out their cupped palms and say, "This is all, but they mean the world to me.". Find quality friends, not a large quantity of idiots.
Surround yourself with people who will lift you higher. Who will encourage you to think and try your best and live for what makes you happy.
When I was little, I used to think that bad things only happened to bad people. I thought that this was true.
But now I know that bad things happen to everyone, especially good people, yet they just have a way of turning pain into something amazing. 'Smiling through the tears', if you will.
Yes, I have been emotionally and mentally abused. Most of this is done by myself, to myself.
I tell myself so many things, think so many things, and hardly any of them are good.
Again, enough of that.
I don't mean to get up on my high horse and look down upon everyone else, but I refuse to continue to mistreat myself and allow myself to be mistreated by others.
If words intend to hurt me, I refuse to listen. Again, I won't stoop down to the floor and take in those words full of lies and filth. I did before. I have been.
The world is full of fear and horrible, terrible things, and we must do the hard thing--smile anyway.
